Basically...tis week past so fast...it's sunday again...tml will be a new week...which means exam starting soon...haiz...i'm kinda stress up...cos i still duno alot of things on my sch work...WAT THE HELL!!!!!!!! Test coming soon liao leh...wat am i still doing? OH MY!!!!

Well...onli see xiao zhu once for tis week which is on fri...if i had not requested to see him...will he ask to see mi? Think we are reali drifting apart...dumb mi...wat am i saying again? keep on telling myself that i muz haf confident in him n myself...but wo zhuo bu dao...haiz...wat the hell is tis? Went over to his hse on fri nite...bought chicken rice for him n had it together wif him...den 2 pigs fell asleep in the room...wake up soon after that and "war" starts...kinda injured each other...but onli minor injury...xiao zhu got a scratch on his eyes...which bled...felt so xing tong...almost cried out but had promised xiao zhu canot cry anymore so i bear wif it...both of us were tired after the "war" so fell asleep again...tis time slp until almost midnight...saw my hp got 17 miss calls...oh my...i noe i was in deep shit at that time cos i gotta be home by midnite de...blur blur got out of bed...thinking that xiao zhu will sent mi home cos so late le...but he didnt...he told mi he still got work to do...well...i was kinda pissed off...kinda angry in my heart...but i didnt show it out...walk home alone...thinking y xiao zhu let mi walk home alone late at nite...tis is not the 1st time le...reach home...told a lie...i lied that xiao zhu got sent mi home so as not to let my mum wori...if not she's gona scold him when she see him...went to bed immediately after taking out my contact lens...i was in bed le but not slping yet...still smsing elf piglet...i was feeling bad in my heart...lucky got dear elf piglet to hear mi out...if not i reali reali lost n miserable...den xiao zhu call my hse at around 12.35am...but i was in bed le so didnt wake up to ans...my grandma was still awake so she ans...aso duno wat she told him...den abt 5-10 min later...xiao zhu called my hp...ask if i reach home liao ma...i was glad that he called to at least noe abt my safety...thot he dun care anymore...however i sound kinda sad...he did ask mi y but i say nothing...in fact i was sobbing le...haiz...cry for wat? got use ma? But i was reali reali glad that i had dear elf piglet wif mi...he's always by my side...Reali reali glad that i haf elf piglet...thinking back...y didnt i choose elf piglet as my choice? If i had...den would things haf become different? could i haf been much more happier? rather den having to worry everyday whether i would lose xiao zhu anot...thot i could spend more time wif him during my holidays...but who noes...i got lots of things...got exam on 3rd,5th,18th nov...in between...flying off to shanghai for holiday...from 6th-15th nov...after that 19th-22nd nov going to penang...seems like most weekends are burnt...reali duno how to tell tis to xiao zhu...reali scare i will neglect him...or rather...i scare i will lose him during tis period of time...wat am i thinking again??? oh my...dumb mi...!!!!!!! I reali reali canot afford to lose xiao zhu..i reali reali cant...sometimes reali wana tell him how much i miss him or how much i love him but i cant...cos i'm lost for words...duno how to express them out to xiao zhu...I'm reali DUMB!!!!!!! Haiz...


love you

on Sunday, September 26, 2004; 11:00 pm