New week again...2nd week of my holidays...still rotting at home...waiting for xiao zhu to finish his report this week den he can take leave and go out wif mi...hopefully he can finish his work soon...

Sat...went dinner wif xiao zhu family...cos his dad's birthday...1st time having dinner wif his family...kinda weird feeling...after dinner he sent mi home den sent his sis home cos he meeting his fren to play billiard...kinda mess things up between elf piglet n mi that nite...

Sun...went breakfast wif mum,dad,bro and xiao zhu at Jurong west...had dim sum...xiao zhu had not have a wink yet...look so sleepy...muz be hang out wif fren till so late...sent him home after breakfast...

Well...guess elf piglet not gona bother mi anymore le...all my fault...mess things up...says things which i shouldnt haf said...i guess i muz haf hurted elf piglet to the extreme...I've been so evil...to treat him tis way...Guess I'm a devil piglet now...I reali reali feel that elf piglet deserves someone better...someone who wun hurt him...someone who would bring him happiness n joy instead of misery...Hurt mi so much to tell him all those things too...tis time reali in big big trouble le la...DUMB MI...

Sometimes...i reali wish i was dead 2-3 yrs ago...a lot of things might haf been different...wun haf noe elf piglet...den wun haf hurted him...SomeTimes i feel like a total failure...a sucker in life...someone who mess everyone's life...i've got no goal in life...cant accomplish things properly...not to mention my studies...Why the Hell am I here??? Send mi away ba...



love you

on Monday, October 18, 2004; 10:43 am